Dissonance (& creating space for harmony).

Mama, can I ask you something? It was less than an hour after she got home from an overnight with x. That means it could be anything. Really: anything. The only sure thing is it would almost certainly involve something untrue about me. Sometimes she doesn’t ask until hours later. Or even a day orContinue reading “Dissonance (& creating space for harmony).”

Natural Consequences

(This post was written pre-COVID and during my original paternity case) This morning, my daughter, yet again, wasn’t ready on time. She’s barely five. This happens, right? All parents know this. Right? She suddenly doesn’t like going to school. Might have to do with her father and I finally splitting for good a few monthsContinue reading “Natural Consequences”

Father’s Day

I have had lots of rough Mother’s Days over a couple of eras of my life, but despite being raised by a step-father (the man I now call Dad) and not having any real contact with my biological father past age eleven, I can’t remember ever having any particularly sad or tough Father’s Days. UntilContinue reading “Father’s Day”

An Open Letter to the Women Who Will Come In and Out of My Daughter’s Life

“I, too, used to want him to be proud of meAnd then I just wanted him to make amendsI wonder what lies he’s telling you about meto make sure that we’ll never be friends” – Fiona Apple, Newspaper Please don’t take it personally when I’m skeptical about how long you’ll be around. There have onlyContinue reading “An Open Letter to the Women Who Will Come In and Out of My Daughter’s Life”

You Think I Might Be Exaggerating, I Know You Do

Women (people) in my position know that you don’t really get it. That you’re suspect (rightfully so, really). We know that you think that we’re, at least a little, over-reacting or exaggerating. We’re not. We really wish we were. My daughter, five, came home tonight and ran in the bathroom saying, let me show youContinue reading “You Think I Might Be Exaggerating, I Know You Do”

Let him play solitaire, baby.

He said, ‘If you’re gonna play the game, boyYou gotta learn to play it rightYou’ve got to know when to hold ’emKnow when to fold ’emKnow when to walk away…’The Gambler – Kenny Rogers. This is what ‘co’parenting with a narcissist is like: Your kid trips running back to them to hug them goodbye oneContinue reading “Let him play solitaire, baby.”