I have a lot of conversations in my head. I guess most people do, but I think those of us newly out of an abusive relationship have more than we ever have had before in our lives. The harshness of the smear campaigns means we have a lot to say and that saying it willContinue reading “She’s Not Guilty, Your Honor”
Category Archives: In the Middle of It All
Not Afraid (but still terrified)
I wasn’t afraid of the bulliesand that just made the bullies worse. – Fiona Apple, “Shameika” {As I work through a new post about the newest uptick in intimidation and harassment, I was reminded of this post from 4/28/2020 on my personal blog.Continue reading “Not Afraid (but still terrified)”
Dissonance (& creating space for harmony).
Mama, can I ask you something? It was less than an hour after she got home from an overnight with x. That means it could be anything. Really: anything. The only sure thing is it would almost certainly involve something untrue about me. Sometimes she doesn’t ask until hours later. Or even a day orContinue reading “Dissonance (& creating space for harmony).”
Gratitude
A few days after Thanksgiving last year, I sat in my car, rain pounding on the windshield and my four year old daughter in the backseat, holding my phone to my ear as I explained to a police officer over the phone why the complaint that x was filing at the precinct right then wasContinue reading “Gratitude”
Thank You for Not Ghosting Me
As I weather an uptick in post-separation abuse, I have again started leaning heavily on my closest friends. I thought it was a good time to bring over this post from February, when I was still muddled and clawing my way out of the fog and became so very aware of how lucky I haveContinue reading “Thank You for Not Ghosting Me”
Slandered & Shell-Shocked: Silence is the Double Edged Sword
(This post is another from my personal blog from pre-COVID times – approximately six months out from the end.) …after my dreaded beheading I tied that sucker back on with a string and I guess I’m pretty different now, considering… Manhole by Ani Difranco Today I went for an early(ish) morning walk with my daughterContinue reading “Slandered & Shell-Shocked: Silence is the Double Edged Sword”
Day 366
On Day One, I swung myself out of bed around 5am after not sleeping at all. My eyes were puffy and sore and I had cried, on and off, all night. I knew I had the task of telling my child that Daddy wouldn’t be in our house at all anymore. I knew I hadContinue reading “Day 366”
Tonight
Tonight, right before leaving work, I read that Ruth Bader Ginsburg died. Tonight my daughter told me, on the drive home, that she hopes that daddy tells the judge that I took her doll away so he’ll kill me. Today I watched my daughter learn to read new words. Yo soy. Yo veo. I can.Continue reading “Tonight”
365 days
4 hearings 4 incident reports filed against me with my local PD. Three kicked-back harassment claims filed against me at work. Too many lies told and posted on social media to count. Hundreds of messages calling me psychotic and a liar. Several sharpie-on-paper-towels ‘notes’ stuck on my front door with duct tape. $0 in childContinue reading “365 days”
Ten Years
Chipped my tooth on an engagement ring. That’s bad luck (bad luck). Could have stopped any one of these things. But that would have been bad luck. – Neko Case, “Bad Luck” (This post is from my personal blog from February of this year – only five months out and the beginning of really acceptingContinue reading “Ten Years”
