I have a lot of conversations in my head. I guess most people do, but I think those of us newly out of an abusive relationship have more than we ever have had before in our lives. The harshness of the smear campaigns means we have a lot to say and that saying it willContinue reading “She’s Not Guilty, Your Honor”
Category Archives: Trying to Make Sense
Not Afraid (but still terrified)
I wasn’t afraid of the bulliesand that just made the bullies worse. – Fiona Apple, “Shameika” {As I work through a new post about the newest uptick in intimidation and harassment, I was reminded of this post from 4/28/2020 on my personal blog.Continue reading “Not Afraid (but still terrified)”
One Decade, Three Women
Ten years ago tomorrow, I stood, alone, in the kitchen of a man I thought I loved, after he’d already left for work, and looked around and took one deep, deep breath that I exhaled in several short bursts and said, out loud up toward the ceiling of his tiny, perfect little house: I can’tContinue reading “One Decade, Three Women”
Dissonance (& creating space for harmony).
Mama, can I ask you something? It was less than an hour after she got home from an overnight with x. That means it could be anything. Really: anything. The only sure thing is it would almost certainly involve something untrue about me. Sometimes she doesn’t ask until hours later. Or even a day orContinue reading “Dissonance (& creating space for harmony).”
Gratitude
A few days after Thanksgiving last year, I sat in my car, rain pounding on the windshield and my four year old daughter in the backseat, holding my phone to my ear as I explained to a police officer over the phone why the complaint that x was filing at the precinct right then wasContinue reading “Gratitude”
Digging Graves & Leaving a Life of Lifeboats
A memory came up on social media today from four years ago – from deep in the worst year of my relationship. The year where I dug up so, so many betrayals and yet – still – tried to figure out a way to keep the ship of family afloat. I had a toddler barelyContinue reading “Digging Graves & Leaving a Life of Lifeboats”
Thank You for Not Ghosting Me
As I weather an uptick in post-separation abuse, I have again started leaning heavily on my closest friends. I thought it was a good time to bring over this post from February, when I was still muddled and clawing my way out of the fog and became so very aware of how lucky I haveContinue reading “Thank You for Not Ghosting Me”
Day 366
On Day One, I swung myself out of bed around 5am after not sleeping at all. My eyes were puffy and sore and I had cried, on and off, all night. I knew I had the task of telling my child that Daddy wouldn’t be in our house at all anymore. I knew I hadContinue reading “Day 366”
Ten Years
Chipped my tooth on an engagement ring. That’s bad luck (bad luck). Could have stopped any one of these things. But that would have been bad luck. – Neko Case, “Bad Luck” (This post is from my personal blog from February of this year – only five months out and the beginning of really acceptingContinue reading “Ten Years”
Not So Little Conversations
Like a book with missing pagesLike a story incompleteLike a painting left unfinishedIt feels like not enough to eat. – Little Conversations, Concrete Blonde I’m acutely aware of time sailing by at breakneck speed these days. Even when, in theory, it should feel like trying to drain the last of the honey jar now thatContinue reading “Not So Little Conversations”
