I wasn’t afraid of the bulliesand that just made the bullies worse. – Fiona Apple, “Shameika” {As I work through a new post about the newest uptick in intimidation and harassment, I was reminded of this post from 4/28/2020 on my personal blog.Continue reading “Not Afraid (but still terrified)”
Category Archives: Post-Separation Abuse
One Decade, Three Women
Ten years ago tomorrow, I stood, alone, in the kitchen of a man I thought I loved, after he’d already left for work, and looked around and took one deep, deep breath that I exhaled in several short bursts and said, out loud up toward the ceiling of his tiny, perfect little house: I can’tContinue reading “One Decade, Three Women”
Dissonance (& creating space for harmony).
Mama, can I ask you something? It was less than an hour after she got home from an overnight with x. That means it could be anything. Really: anything. The only sure thing is it would almost certainly involve something untrue about me. Sometimes she doesn’t ask until hours later. Or even a day orContinue reading “Dissonance (& creating space for harmony).”
Gratitude
A few days after Thanksgiving last year, I sat in my car, rain pounding on the windshield and my four year old daughter in the backseat, holding my phone to my ear as I explained to a police officer over the phone why the complaint that x was filing at the precinct right then wasContinue reading “Gratitude”
Obviously Contentious
The pounding on the door had been going on pretty much nonstop for more than twenty minutes. So hard that a painting in the stairwell had gone crooked. My daughter was covering her ears and asking when it would stop. She asked who it was. I didn’t know, in those long long moments, if tellingContinue reading “Obviously Contentious”
Slandered & Shell-Shocked: Silence is the Double Edged Sword
(This post is another from my personal blog from pre-COVID times – approximately six months out from the end.) …after my dreaded beheading I tied that sucker back on with a string and I guess I’m pretty different now, considering… Manhole by Ani Difranco Today I went for an early(ish) morning walk with my daughterContinue reading “Slandered & Shell-Shocked: Silence is the Double Edged Sword”
Sharing the Sadness
Sometimes something happens that you know you need to share with friends or family or anyone who can help you let go of the worst of it. Help you figure out how not to be paralyzed by it. And sometimes those same things make you want to shut your mouth for a long time. BecauseContinue reading “Sharing the Sadness”
Tonight
Tonight, right before leaving work, I read that Ruth Bader Ginsburg died. Tonight my daughter told me, on the drive home, that she hopes that daddy tells the judge that I took her doll away so he’ll kill me. Today I watched my daughter learn to read new words. Yo soy. Yo veo. I can.Continue reading “Tonight”
Vigilance as Meditation
There have been so many hoops in the process. Decide to be done. Not give in to the promises to focus on his family when I’ve heard it so many times. Try to amicably agree on custody. Lawyer up after threats and attempts to bully me into submission. Get through court. Get through the secondContinue reading “Vigilance as Meditation”
Feeling Some Kind of Way Today
I’m really feeling some kind of way today so I am ready to say too much on social media. To share too much. To rail at the sky with the unfairness of it all. To take out an ad in a local newspaper or hire a sky-writer to do a little large-scale truth-telling. To railContinue reading “Feeling Some Kind of Way Today”
