As I weather an uptick in post-separation abuse, I have again started leaning heavily on my closest friends. I thought it was a good time to bring over this post from February, when I was still muddled and clawing my way out of the fog and became so very aware of how lucky I haveContinue reading “Thank You for Not Ghosting Me”
Category Archives: Trying to Make Sense
Day 366
On Day One, I swung myself out of bed around 5am after not sleeping at all. My eyes were puffy and sore and I had cried, on and off, all night. I knew I had the task of telling my child that Daddy wouldn’t be in our house at all anymore. I knew I hadContinue reading “Day 366”
Ten Years
Chipped my tooth on an engagement ring. That’s bad luck (bad luck). Could have stopped any one of these things. But that would have been bad luck. – Neko Case, “Bad Luck” (This post is from my personal blog from February of this year – only five months out and the beginning of really acceptingContinue reading “Ten Years”
Not So Little Conversations
Like a book with missing pagesLike a story incompleteLike a painting left unfinishedIt feels like not enough to eat. – Little Conversations, Concrete Blonde I’m acutely aware of time sailing by at breakneck speed these days. Even when, in theory, it should feel like trying to drain the last of the honey jar now thatContinue reading “Not So Little Conversations”
What Must Divide
Court is over. For now. I still need to file a child support motion so I know I’ll be back sooner than later. But tonight, I’m three days out from finally being done with the bullshit neglect charges that have resulted in him getting almost nothing that he filed for but gave me decision makingContinue reading “What Must Divide”
I Have Me
Two nights before what I hope will be my last court date for a good, long while, I was up from midnight to 3:00am. My eyes stung and watered but I couldn’t sleep. I gave up an hour in and started watching a cheesy TV show I’ve been binging (my tastes always going far moreContinue reading “I Have Me”
Father’s Day
I have had lots of rough Mother’s Days over a couple of eras of my life, but despite being raised by a step-father (the man I now call Dad) and not having any real contact with my biological father past age eleven, I can’t remember ever having any particularly sad or tough Father’s Days. UntilContinue reading “Father’s Day”
Just Call Me Snowflake
Tonight I crawled into my daughter’s bed to hear her breathing and stare at her face and remember why it is that I had to go through what I went through – why I have to go through what I still go through. For her. I wouldn’t have this exact human unless I fell intoContinue reading “Just Call Me Snowflake”
An Open Letter to the Women Who Will Come In and Out of My Daughter’s Life
“I, too, used to want him to be proud of meAnd then I just wanted him to make amendsI wonder what lies he’s telling you about meto make sure that we’ll never be friends” – Fiona Apple, Newspaper Please don’t take it personally when I’m skeptical about how long you’ll be around. There have onlyContinue reading “An Open Letter to the Women Who Will Come In and Out of My Daughter’s Life”
You Think I Might Be Exaggerating, I Know You Do
Women (people) in my position know that you don’t really get it. That you’re suspect (rightfully so, really). We know that you think that we’re, at least a little, over-reacting or exaggerating. We’re not. We really wish we were. My daughter, five, came home tonight and ran in the bathroom saying, let me show youContinue reading “You Think I Might Be Exaggerating, I Know You Do”
Life After Emotional Abuse 