UnGastheLight

Gratitude

A few days after Thanksgiving last year, I sat in my car, rain pounding on the windshield and my four year old daughter in the backseat, holding my phone to my ear as I explained to a police officer over the phone why the complaint that x was filing at the precinct right then wasContinue reading “Gratitude”

Obviously Contentious

The pounding on the door had been going on pretty much nonstop for more than twenty minutes. So hard that a painting in the stairwell had gone crooked. My daughter was covering her ears and asking when it would stop. She asked who it was. I didn’t know, in those long long moments, if tellingContinue reading “Obviously Contentious”

Digging Graves & Leaving a Life of Lifeboats

A memory came up on social media today from four years ago – from deep in the worst year of my relationship. The year where I dug up so, so many betrayals and yet – still – tried to figure out a way to keep the ship of family afloat. I had a toddler barelyContinue reading “Digging Graves & Leaving a Life of Lifeboats”

Thank You for Not Ghosting Me

As I weather an uptick in post-separation abuse, I have again started leaning heavily on my closest friends. I thought it was a good time to bring over this post from February, when I was still muddled and clawing my way out of the fog and became so very aware of how lucky I haveContinue reading “Thank You for Not Ghosting Me”

Slandered & Shell-Shocked: Silence is the Double Edged Sword

(This post is another from my personal blog from pre-COVID times – approximately six months out from the end.) …after my dreaded beheading I tied that sucker back on with a string and I guess I’m pretty different now, considering… Manhole by Ani Difranco Today I went for an early(ish) morning walk with my daughterContinue reading “Slandered & Shell-Shocked: Silence is the Double Edged Sword”

Sharing the Sadness

Sometimes something happens that you know you need to share with friends or family or anyone who can help you let go of the worst of it. Help you figure out how not to be paralyzed by it. And sometimes those same things make you want to shut your mouth for a long time. BecauseContinue reading “Sharing the Sadness”

Day 366

On Day One, I swung myself out of bed around 5am after not sleeping at all. My eyes were puffy and sore and I had cried, on and off, all night. I knew I had the task of telling my child that Daddy wouldn’t be in our house at all anymore. I knew I hadContinue reading “Day 366”

Tonight

Tonight, right before leaving work, I read that Ruth Bader Ginsburg died. Tonight my daughter told me, on the drive home, that she hopes that daddy tells the judge that I took her doll away so he’ll kill me. Today I watched my daughter learn to read new words. Yo soy. Yo veo. I can.Continue reading “Tonight”

365 days

4 hearings 4 incident reports filed against me with my local PD. Three kicked-back harassment claims filed against me at work. Too many lies told and posted on social media to count. Hundreds of messages calling me psychotic and a liar. Several sharpie-on-paper-towels ‘notes’ stuck on my front door with duct tape. $0 in childContinue reading “365 days”

Ten Years

Chipped my tooth on an engagement ring. That’s bad luck (bad luck). Could have stopped any one of these things. But that would have been bad luck. – Neko Case, “Bad Luck” (This post is from my personal blog from February of this year – only five months out and the beginning of really acceptingContinue reading “Ten Years”