Tonight I crawled into my daughter’s bed to hear her breathing and stare at her face and remember why it is that I had to go through what I went through – why I have to go through what I still go through. For her. I wouldn’t have this exact human unless I fell intoContinue reading “Just Call Me Snowflake”
Author Archives: Inkremnants
An Open Letter to the Women Who Will Come In and Out of My Daughter’s Life
“I, too, used to want him to be proud of meAnd then I just wanted him to make amendsI wonder what lies he’s telling you about meto make sure that we’ll never be friends” – Fiona Apple, Newspaper Please don’t take it personally when I’m skeptical about how long you’ll be around. There have onlyContinue reading “An Open Letter to the Women Who Will Come In and Out of My Daughter’s Life”
You Think I Might Be Exaggerating, I Know You Do
Women (people) in my position know that you don’t really get it. That you’re suspect (rightfully so, really). We know that you think that we’re, at least a little, over-reacting or exaggerating. We’re not. We really wish we were. My daughter, five, came home tonight and ran in the bathroom saying, let me show youContinue reading “You Think I Might Be Exaggerating, I Know You Do”
250 Days
“And I don’t really want your sympathyI’m just telling you so you’ll understandThis is me, sincerelydoing the best that I can.” – Ani Difranco, Allergic to Water June 1st. 250 days since I said enough and meant it. It’s also Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. I’m still here. So much better off than I expected toContinue reading “250 Days”
Turn It Upside Down
As I sat down to write this post, that’s been percolating in my head for a few days, the first first sentence I thought of was: It’s been a week. But I’m pretty sure that I’ve thought that every week for a long time. I survived my virtual court hearing and while I didn’t getContinue reading “Turn It Upside Down”
Too Much Sugar
I got up early this morning despite being home all day so I can be available for my virtual court hearing. I went in the kitchen to start coffee so it would be ready by the time I finished feeding and taking the dogs outside. When I came back inside, I pulled a cup outContinue reading “Too Much Sugar”
Return to Sender
I have video court tomorrow because the x filed an emergency motion declaring that me not allowing him to watch our daughter while I’m at work results in ‘neglect to the extreme’. And tonight when he picked her up, he asked me if I had any mail for him. He messaged me a week agoContinue reading “Return to Sender”
Let him play solitaire, baby.
He said, ‘If you’re gonna play the game, boyYou gotta learn to play it rightYou’ve got to know when to hold ’emKnow when to fold ’emKnow when to walk away…’The Gambler – Kenny Rogers. This is what ‘co’parenting with a narcissist is like: Your kid trips running back to them to hug them goodbye oneContinue reading “Let him play solitaire, baby.”
Certificate of Birth
Not many people who know me in real life know this, but my daughter’s name has been changed. Not her last name. Not even because her father and I split. She had two middle names and now she has one. I found out four years ago, amidst hundreds of secrets and lies and omissions IContinue reading “Certificate of Birth”
Until Dust Shoots Out
I don’t really care about Lorde one way or the other – I can enjoy a song of hers if I hear it but I’ve never been pushed to buy an album. Last night, I watched Storm Large play one verse from one song in one of her quarantine Pajama Session concerts that was likeContinue reading “Until Dust Shoots Out”
